


Moral Crisis

by Lady_Sci_Fi



Category: Sarah Jane Adventures
Genre: Episode Related, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 04:49:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13919733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Sci_Fi/pseuds/Lady_Sci_Fi
Summary: After "Revenge of the Slitheen," Maria needs to sort out her emotions.





	Moral Crisis

 “Sarah Jane?”

 Sarah looked up from her work computer at the teen girl, slightly confused at why she was still in the attic. “I thought you were going out with Luke?”

 Maria gave a little nervous smile. “Clyde texted him to hang out. I think he really does think Luke is the coolest person, now. I’d rather stay with you right now, if you don’t mind.”

 “I am kind of busy here. Articles don’t write themselves.”

 Maria suddenly blurted out, “I killed someone,” unable to hold it in any longer.

 That certainly got Sarah’s attention, and she fully turned in her chair. “What!?”

 “Only a few days ago, at the school.” Maria’s breathing quickened, her emotions now more intense within her now that she had said it out loud. “The headmaster, the Slitheen who was him, I mean… When he cornered Clyde and me when you and Luke went to their power room…”

 Sarah swiftly stood and led Maria over to the couch. The girl was now almost hyperventilating. “Hey, calm down, Maria. It’s okay, it’s over…”

 Maria shook her head. “I know I had to do it, or he would’ve killed us, and- and… But I still…”

 Sarah took Maria’s hands between hers, and didn’t interrupt. She was still relearning how to be with others, but knew this was a time to listen, since they weren’t in the middle of a crisis.

 Maria sniffled. “I just… dumped the vinegar at him, and he just… he exploded on us. I killed him, Sarah Jane.” She was nearly in tears now. “His blood and stuff was on me…”

 Sarah released Maria’s hands to fold her own together over her mouth. She was reminded of just how young her friend was. Fourteen… much too young to have to be in a situation where killing another person, alien or human, was the only option to survive. A situation that Sarah had led her into.

 “Sarah Jane?”  Maria’s voice was small and quivering.

 “You shouldn’t be with me,” Sarah concluded. “Not when I directly led you into that mess.”

 “No, you’re wonderful. I just… I don’t know…” The girl took a deep breath. “At the time, I was… I didn’t feel bad about it, because he was going to kill us. And he was goading me, saying I was weak and stupid and… I proved him wrong. I wasn’t bothered by it, not until the next day.”

 “You’ve been keeping this in since?”

 Maria nodded. “I thought it would pass, but it hasn’t.” She glanced around the attic before resettling her gaze on the woman in front of her. “You were upset when the two trapped in the power room died. Especially the child. Even though both of them had also tried to kill us, and the whole world.”

 “Yes, I was.”

 “Have you had to kill anyone?”

 Sarah gravely nodded, remembering those especially trying times with the Doctor and parts of her life afterwards. “I try not to, of course. But, sometimes, as much as I wish there was another option, sometimes I have to let them die, or I would help the Doctor do it.”

 “How do you… how do you deal with it?”

 “I… “ Sarah took a deep breath. Part of her wanted to simply walk away from this conversation. But she knew she couldn’t abandon Maria. “I try not to think about it. Like the Slitheen, they were all people who wanted to hurt and kill others.  They usually don’t get much sympathy from me, back then or now.”

 “The first time it happened was hard, wasn’t it?”

 “Maria, I was twenty-three when my life took this adventurous and dangerous turn. You’re nine years younger than I was.” Sarah added quietly, “I’ve seen many people die… Sometimes, it’s easier than other times.”

 “I guess…”

 “That doesn’t mean I’m so hardened that I don’t feel it, like you said of my reaction to the child Slitheen’s death. I think, if you completely stop feeling it, you’ve lost your humanity.”

 “I don’t want to kill again, but if I need to…”

 Sarah shook her head. “You really shouldn’t have to think about things like this.”

“It’s part of helping to save the world, isn’t it?”

 “Sometimes, yes. I shouldn’t let you-“

 “Without me, or Luke and Clyde, the Slitheen would’ve won.”

 Sarah half-smiled in a sad way. “I might’ve found another way to defeat them without you.”

 “Maybe, maybe not.” The girl’s face fell again. “I should be glad I did it, and I was…”

 “Maria,” Sarah took the teen’s hands again. “I’ve had to become… detached, in certain ways. I’ve had to accept that it’s part of my life. You still have time to make certain it’s not part of yours.”

 Maria gave a watery smile. “Trying to get rid of me, again?” There wasn’t any bitterness or hurt in her voice. “I meant what I said in the Bubbleshock factory. You have me, and I’m not leaving you.”

 “Maria-“

 “This is just something I have to figure, yeah? Like you did.”  

 Sarah could see that any more efforts to convince Maria that she was too young for this situation would go unheeded. “Just remember, we try not to do that. We can’t always succeed at that, but we try.”

 Maria wiped at her damp eyes. “Clyde didn’t seem at all bothered by it. Though… he is a boy, so…”

 “Yes, well… that’s not exactly a good excuse…” Sarah let out a hard breath as Maria unexpectedly practically threw herself against Sarah in a tight hug. It took Sarah a moment to put her arms around Maria in return.

 Maria didn’t let go as she asked, “Is it alright if we just… sit here like this? I-I just need…”

 Sarah’s mind flickered to her half-finished article, and decided it could wait a while longer. And really, after the conversation they’d just had, Maria wasn’t the only one who needed physical comfort. She slightly nudged her nose through the girl’s thick hair. “Okay,” she quietly agreed. “It’s alright…”


End file.
